PUBLISHED February 6th, 2023 06:00 am | UPDATED September 19th, 2023 12:28 am
Love is love, and love is more than a four-letter word. It is so important to us that we set aside one day each year to celebrate it with romantic dinners, thoughtful gifts, and unforgettable experiences. Because everyone is so different, we have our unique way of receiving love. The best way to express love and delight your partner this Valentine’s day is to give them a present that speaks to them, in their love language.
Five Love Languages
Counsellor Gary Chapman noticed patterns in his couple clients; they were misunderstanding each other’s needs. Seeing that everyone has their preferred way of approaching and receiving love, he came up with the five love languages – Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Quality Time, and Receiving Gifts – to categorise these preferences. In relationships, identifying the preferred love languages of others and ourselves can help us connect and understand each other better. Here’s a look at the five love languages:
Words of Affirmation
There is no better way to express your affection to someone whose love language is words of affirmation than simply saying, “I love you.” Open and positive communication helps this person feel loved and valued, so let the literal words do the talking as you express appreciation and affection. Compliment and encourage them, send those flowery love letters, and whisper sweet nothings. If words don’t come easy, grab those personalised gifts to say the three magic words for you.
Physical Touch
These people feel loved when they are touched. Before your mind wanders to the bedroom, physical adoration can also come in the form of holding hands, warm embraces, and gentle massages. To them, the perfect night might just be snuggling on the couch with a good movie. But of course, it is always a good idea to prepare for some spicy action, perhaps starting with some intimacy card games?
Acts of Service
Actions speak louder than words for people, with acts of service as their love language. Make sure you wash the dishes, do some household chores, or pick up the eggs from the supermarket; thoughtful gestures like these tell them you care. Most of the time, they, too, perform acts of service and kindness for others. Observe and see what you can do to improve things around them, and remember, ironing clothes can make you look hot in more ways than one.
Quality Time
Anyone whose love tank is filled by having their partner’s undivided attention will receive a clear and loving message when their partner puts their phone away, makes eye contact and listens attentively. There are many ways to spend uninterrupted time with your partner; go for a walk, book a romantic staycation, or take up a new hobby together. As long as you are fully present, anything you do together counts for quality time.
Receiving Gifts
People with “receiving gifts” as their love language feel special when they receive one, no matter how big or small the gift is. Far from being materialistic, it’s truly the thought and efforts they appreciate. And it is especially so when the gift is meaningful to them or demonstrates how much you have been paying attention to what they want. It’s as easy as buying their favourite cuppa (or bubble tea) on your way home. For some gifting inspo, check out our Valentine’s day gift guide.
What is Your Love Language?
Keen to find out what your and your partner’s love languages are? Take the love language quiz. Most people have more than one love language, and your love language may shift according to your needs and wants over time. Your love language shows you what makes you feel loved and emotionally fulfilled; it’s your preferred way of receiving love. However, you may not seek love the same way you give. Take time to learn each other’s love language and build a deeper connection with each other.
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