Movember: To mo or not to mo?

PUBLISHED October 25th, 2013 02:12 am | UPDATED May 18th, 2020 04:44 pm

The moustache revolution is nearly upon on us. Ladies, if you like a hirsute man you’re in luck, however you may wish to stock up on facial moisturiser as instances of chaffe will no doubt dramatically increase over the up coming month. Gentlemen, put down those razors and ….hey, watch out for your balls yeh?! Those of you who are wondering what on earth I’m chatting about…it’s Movember!

The time of year when millions of men around the world will stand up and forge a hairy alliance to invoke awareness, action and a healthier life for their bro’s! It’s a well known fact that men are just not particularly good at looking after themselves and exceptionally bad at going to visit the doctor when issues arise. Unlike us girls who divulge embarrassing problems and share more easily, men have too long felt ‘they must tough it out’ sometimes with unexpectedly serious outcomes which could have been avoided if they just paid attention to their health. Movember encourages men to grow a moustache for the 30-days of November and ask their friends and family to donate to their efforts. With their new moustaches, Mo Bros bring much needed awareness to men’s health issues by prompting conversations wherever they go, effectively becoming walking, talking billboards for commonly unspoken men’s health issues such as prostate cancer.

Movember is only in its second year in Singapore having started in the USA in 2003, but to give you an idea of the gloabl impact of this hairy movement, $446 million has so far been raised since it began, which is then allocated to global men’s health programs.

Pretty awesome right? Even better, the Singapore Movember folks have set up a go-to list of Movember Rated Barbers so no need for an unruly mo! Sultans of Shave, We Need a Hero, and City Nomads favourites The Panic Room are all involved, offering promotions and contributions to the Movember fund, while ensuring that you have neat and tidy facial fluff.

Ok, so that’s all well and good but what sort of moustache should you be going for? Or rather, what does your mo say about you?! Here’s our quick guide to just a few of the options available:

The Fluff AKA The oh dear, were you trying to grow a mo?

This is an unfortunate one, sometimes with the very best of intentions, you can fail miserably. Also known as bum fluff, feeble facial hair, or peach fuzz, this is the chaps who tried their best to grow a mo, but after 30 days just have 3 random hairs, and look no different. If you’re a 13 year old boy, all very understandable, if you’re a 30 year old man, you may wonder why?

Most likely to get ID-ed at the bar.

The Trucker AKA The Hulk Hogan

Naturally a trucker hat or bandana perfectly compliments this look. The Trucker also known as the horseshoe, is a mighty manly mo with slight hint of sleeze. Impressive if you can manage it.

Most likely to be a badmuthaf*cka.

The Box Car AKA The Tom Selleck

Be the envy of all your bros if you can grow a box car. Thick, bushy and luscious, it says I’m serious, manly yet smooth, chop wood with ease whilst smelling fragrant, am possibly an undercover cop and have a way with the laaaaaadies.

Most likely to look sexy with a mo, which is quite an achievement.

The Conoisseur

Most recently worn with a plethora of tattoos and jaunty swagger, this is the hipster mo. Mo enhancement is required, usually in the form of a pomade, so this is a mo that needs some upkeep and commitment. This mo says – I take great pride in my moustache, I am quite dapper, I may own braces…and a flat cap.

Most likely to talk about their moustache in the third person.

If you’re excited by the prospect of looking exceptionally manly in luxuriant facial adornment for the month of November whilst doing a good deed, don’t be a lame-mo, sign up here! And for those of us that cannot grow a mo…check out Gallery of Mo, an awesome website that allows you to contribute to the great cause and commission your very own mo’trait. With this creative initiative, you can pay artists and illustrators all over the world to do your portrait sporting spectacular mooooooostachios. Check out their Facebook for more info.

I have to say I think I’d look rather marvellous with a moustache, hell, a large proportion of my greek lady relatives actually have them! eeeeek! Happy Movember one and all! Get more information right here