International Women’s Day 2022: Meet The Women Blazing A Trail For Sexual Freedom In Singapore

PUBLISHED March 8th, 2022 05:00 am | UPDATED March 24th, 2022 07:17 am

“Female freedom always means sexual freedom,” wrote the celebrated novelist Toni Morrison. This International Women’s Day, we’re paying homage to six women blazing a trail for sexual and reproductive freedom in Singapore. In a society where sex remains shrouded in silence and stigmas, these fearless ladies are challenging sex toy taboos, making birth control shame-free, empowering women to freeze their eggs, and so much more.

Breaking The Silence on Sex Talk: Noorindah Iskandar, Shy & Curious

Growing up, Noorindah Iskandar had no qualms cracking dirty jokes with her mum and sharing all about the boys she dated. “She was essentially my first-ever best friend,” she reminisces. So it came as a shock when, in October 2019, the family had to rush her mum to the hospital – and discovered she had been concealing the growth of tumours in her breasts. “When I asked why she didn’t tell anyone,” recounts Noorindah, “she said it was because she was ashamed of her body.” Four days later, her mother passed away.

Devastated and angry, Noorindah struggled to reconcile her memories of the mum with whom she’d talked about everything and the silent shame she had borne. “I didn’t want her legacy to end just like that, so I thought about creating a safe space where strangers could talk about taboo topics and vulnerabilities without fear or guilt.” Thus was born Shy & Curious – an online platform where she writes candidly about sex and relationships. From period sex to aftercare guides, erotica to handling rejection, no topic is too shameful to delve fearlessly into.

In still-conservative Singapore, Noorindah feels the importance of intimacy often gets brushed under the rug. “People might feel something is missing in their relationships, but they’re quick to dismiss it and think that everything else is going well – so why rock the boat? Then there’re those embarrassed to learn more about pleasure, because they’re consumed with guilt and feel it’s not ‘right’. But these repressed ‘what-ifs’ have a way of rearing their heads as resentment, fear, and anger that they might not be able to place.”

Through her platform, she hopes to help shy (and curious) women unlearn their fears around sexuality. “Being sex-positive doesn’t mean you’re swinging down the chandeliers in Cirque du Soleil positions! It just means you believe in mutual respect, trust, communication, and consent. I hope this in turn leads to advocating for inclusive and pleasure-based sex education, instead of fear and abstinence.”

Check out Shy & Curious on the blog or Instagram. 

Helping Women Freeze Their Eggs: Juhee An, Freedom Edge

Despite Singapore’s alarmingly low birth rate, women here remain barred from freezing their eggs except for medical reasons. So when Juhee An visited Seoul in 2016, her sister – knowing she wished to have children but hadn’t yet found the right man – suggested that she freeze her eggs there. But egg freezing is an expensive, arduous process, and Juhee held out hope that her Mr Right was round the corner. “I secretly believed the universe was on my side, and I’d be lucky in the end as I’d always been,” she says.

In 2019, Juhee was finally prepared to take the plunge – only to be told by doctors that her fertility levels were no longer viable for successful egg freezing. Stricken with regret, she set out to make sure that no other woman would suffer the same fate. Her startup Freedom Edge serves as an egg freezing concierge for Singapore women, helping them through their journey from fertility testing to treatment in South Korean hospitals.

“Currently, we have arrangements with major clinics in Korea that we’ve endorsed, after visiting their facilities and meeting the doctors,” she explains. “We really spend time understanding our clients’ situations and needs, and we educate them on the procedures and risks involved.” Given the ban on social egg freezing in Singapore, it’s invaluable having someone like Juhee to clear up misconceptions and offer support through the nerve-wracking process.

Egg freezing remains stigmatized in Asia – a fact that Juhee attributes to traditional expectations of women. “‘Failing’ to bear children creates social pressure and shame. There’s also a wrong perception that egg freezing is for women who want to delay giving birth. But in fact, most who consider it actually want a baby so much that they’re willing to undergo a painful, expensive procedure,” she says. “Korea isn’t much better than Singapore, culturally speaking, but at least it allows clinics to conduct egg freezing for single ladies. It’s time to acknowledge that it’s about women’s CHOICE.”

Check out Freedom Edge here. 

Changing The Game on Sexual Healthcare: Xi Liu, Ferne Health

If you’ve been through Singapore sex education, you’ve probably been scarred by graphic images of genitals disfigured by STDs – all in a bid to scare young minds into abstinence. No wonder, then, that STDs have become such a frightening taboo for us – one that prevents many from seeking much-needed healthcare.

Enter Ferne Health, a trailblazing online sexual health platform that offers Singapore’s first at-home STD testing services. Founded by China-born Xi Liu, Ferne Health is taking the shame out of women’s healthcare with kits for STD screening, UTI testing, cervical swabs and more for self-testing in the comfort of your home. Your results will then be reviewed by partner doctors, complete with an online consultation.

For Xi, accessible sexual healthcare remains an urgent need in our conservative Asian culture. “We found that many women in their late 20s have never visited a gynae, either because they don’t see it as necessary or they’re too shy to talk about their sexual status,” she says. “According to our survey in Singapore, almost half of women in their 20s to 30s have never taken a Pap smear despite being sexually active. The conservative side of our culture has definitely discouraged a lot of women from seeking regular care.”

Another under-served group that Xi aims to help is the LGBTQ+ community. “LGBTQ+ people often suffer in silence due to fear of discrimination by doctors, or are told they don’t need to take certain sexual health tests because they’re not having sexual intercourse,” she explains. Ferne Health makes it a point to work with LGBTQ-affirming doctors, and offers couple’s care bundles for same-sex partners. “Our vision,” she says, “is to empower people to care for themselves by bringing health services right to their doorstep.” 

Check out Ferne Health here. 

Shedding Stigmas On Self-Love: Meryl Lim, Good Vibes

A new wave of women-centric wellness brands are revolutionizing Singapore’s sex toy scene, foremost among them Meryl Lim. Once a high-flying revenue manager at Kraft Heinz, a chance conversation inspired her to start her sex toy brand, Good Vibes. “I met some close (male) friends for drinks, and we were brainstorming Instagram names for my travel account,” she recalls. “One friend suggested ‘Good Vibes Only’ and I joked it sounded like a sex toy company. That’s how we started talking about sex that night – for the first time ever.”

That night was a tipping point for Meryl, who had seldom spoken about sex with family or even friends before. “That got me questioning why we tend to avoid this topic as a whole. So many of us are or will be having sex in life – so why aren’t we taught about how to have better sex?” Good Vibes was the fruit of her revelation – an entry-level sex toy brand, tailored to women just starting out on their sexual exploration.

Challenging the seedy stigma around sex toys, Good Vibes is out to normalize self-love and sexual confidence for women. The brand keeps things simple with just three zen-themed toys, each a beauty of clean lines and soothing pastels. “Our toys are so elegantly designed that they might not even look like toys at all,” she says. For women struggling to unlearn their socialized shame around sex, Good Vibes offers an approachable first step.

Meryl’s ultimate hope is for all women to have healthier, happier relationships with themselves and others. “Sexuality really starts from within,” she explains. “We first need to shut off the outside world and simply listen to our hearts and minds. Being true to ourselves, being comfortable in our own skin and with our own bodies.”  

Check out Good Vibes here. 

Empowering Women to Embrace Pleasure: Jacqueline Kee, Hedonist

The sister brand to Good Vibes, Hedonist is about celebrating pleasure unapologetically – particularly women’s pleasure, which so often plays second fiddle to men’s. “Too many women just check out from sex because they can’t ask for what they want,” says co-founder Jacqueline Kee. “As women, we’re socialized to behave a certain way – be more subservient, and don’t ask for sex too much or else we might be labelled a slut.”

Whereas Good Vibes is beginner-friendly, Hedonist offers a wider repertoire of pleasure products for spicing things up – bondage gear, lingerie, kegel balls, anal toys. They also run private parties dubbed ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’, involving a no-holds-barred educational session on pleasure, sex toys, and more. “Our mission,” Jacqueline says, “is to create a sex-positive community without shame or guilt.”

Shedding the shame around her sexuality didn’t always come easy to Jacqueline, who struggled with cultural expectations of ‘proper’ behaviour for women well into her late 20s. In fact, it was only with the launch of Hedonist that she truly took the plunge to work through her internal conflicts about sex. “Every day, I’m still reading and learning new things on sexual wellness to broaden my mindset,” she tells us. “It’s never too late to get acquainted with your sexuality.”

Check out Hedonist here. 

Making Reproductive Healthcare Easy: Guadalupe Lazaro, Ease

Visiting a GP has long been the only route for women to get birth control pills in Singapore – a process which is inconvenient, uncomfortable, and often fraught with judgment. “I’m originally from Argentina, and people tend to be very open about sexual health there,” shares Guadalupe Lazaro. “There were plenty of resources available, from free contraception at public hospitals to non-judgmental approaches to STI testing.”

When she came to Singapore, however, she realised that women here faced many barriers to reproductive healthcare. “Birth control and emergency contraception needed prescriptions – which required me to queue two hours at the clinic every month. STI tests weren’t affordable, and doctors didn’t seem particularly welcoming or friendly when I requested sexual health advice.” Together with her partner Rio, she set out to revolutionize access to these services with their tele-health startup, Ease.

Working with licensed doctors, Ease offers online consultations for birth control pills and emergency contraception. Prescriptions will then be delivered to your doorstep in discreet, unbranded packaging – reaching you in as little as four hours. Beyond birth control, Ease has branched out into UTI testing, menstrual health services, and even urinary health supplements. Fresh off securing USD1.3 million in seed funding, they’ve got big dreams to expand into a one-stop platform for women’s healthcare needs.

Birth control remains a sensitive subject in Singapore, and Ease hopes to tackle that. “We’ve encountered myths such as ‘birth control affects your long-term fertility’, which is completely false and can lead to women being afraid to take control of their reproductive health,” Guadalupe shares. Her goal is for Ease to be a game-changer – improving not only access but also awareness on reproductive health issues.

Check out Ease Healthcare here.